There is plenty in the eyes


Things that happen in our life seem crazy and strange. Unexplainable and unmistakably beautiful. Sometimes we wonder if really God exists because it’s hard to connect the dots of humanity and the worldly events. 

Life is a bit amazing, it cannot stop fascinating us. Living on earth which appears flat and yet it is spherical. Covered by a blue sheet that has white scars of different shapes, which resizes its shape and color according to its purpose.

 The sun which is blazing all day, the moon being fair and the stars twinkling in the sky. The air that we breathe is it there natural or it is recycled through the living things? Things are hard to imagine and explain. Sometimes you just have to shove your questions deep in your darkest memories so that you cannot ask at all.

Elements of peace, love, trust and kindness are determined by what we do. Humans are tied to this earth. There is gravity pulling us down to our deepest realities, and magnetism that pulls us closer to the darkness within, till we are on the verge of exploding all our humanistic traits. Life won’t stop surprising us. Looking through the mirror what do you see?  

Through the clear water, what meets your eyes? Mirrors tell us what lies in the limits of humanity, the wisdom and the infinite knowledge that is hidden. Even under all this inventions we still don’t find the real course of humanity. Questions like, why are we here? Why do we do the things we do? There are many things that we don’t know, we are still in darkness.

We choose what is good for us even if it is bad for others or rather ourselves. Each morning comes with a renewed event, and hope for others.  If only these questions could be answered, then we could be satisfied. Curiosity killed the cat; I hope we are better off than the cat.

Thank you for hurting me. I learnt something.

Life is a bit messy.

Those that were tasty turn out sour and bitter sometimes.

Yes! Life has its ups and downs. Good and bad. Cool and weird. I accept that. I know there is a time for me to shine. To rise. And a time to fall.

So why was i angry at first?

Why couldn’t i comprehend that evil is within? And some people cannot stay without disappointing others.

Maybe i was young. Maybe my heart was still of a child’s, that was full of compassion and knew that there are arms and chests to lean on.

Was i desperate of what the world offered? Was i naive ? Or i was fully convinced that there are no bad people, just who wish to do good but the devil takes hold of them.

I’m not sure.

When you first came, i was open. I welcomed you with warm hands full of love. I knew that my world wont be lonely. So i let you trespass. I let you in.

For a moment there was light. Then came the word, love. I gave in all of me and waited for you to call. You didn’t fold, you stayed and made me feel blessed.

Life seemed to be my friend. It didn’t crawl in the night when i was asleep with nightmares, but it walked with me in the day. And it seemed like heaven had opened its doors for me. To be honest i was into you. I was for real.

Out of nowhere you hit me at the back of my head. You struck through my back and cut out my heart. You broke my heart like it wasn’t yours to hold and embrace.

It was then that i knew it was over between us. That you broke my heart and  there was nothing that i could do other than cry and wish it shouldn’t be like that.

But thank you. Yes you. You who couldn’t see the importance of my precious little heart. You who made your way through my fallen body with bruises. You who couldn’t pick me up, but left me lying  in pain.

 You opened my, my sixth sense, and even seventh ( but I’m not sure what that is).

 I feel light like a feather.

I feel i can jump to the sky with no one pulling me back or adding weight in my body.

I feel free.

It was through your cruelty that i came to conclude we are not perfect. Some want to be perfect, and others cannot help themselves from being monsters.

I realized that you shouldn’t give in too much. I shouldn’t trust with my eyes closed. They should be open. Love isn’t blind. Its people.

Because not everyone deserves me. Not even a part of me.

Thanks to you. I can see the world better now. I can walk through the crowds with ease. I’m now not afraid to get hurt again, because I’m in control of my life. I get to see the world in my own way, and face what it brings forth. I get to explore.

Now i know you were selfish and greedy, while i was selfless and needy. I’m strong. I picked up the pieces and moved on like nothing ever happened.  

Thanks to you who thought that i was never going to find peace. That i was going to drown in my tears and call out your  name again. Hell yeah! It didn’t happen. I walked through the tornado and im still whole and stable. I learnt how to cherish the little, and embrace life. 

Thanks to you now im patient and i get to focus on my life.

When you say its over, mean it, its just the beginning of something new

How often  do we say its over but end up getting back together?

Or suddenly forget that we were hurt, broken, and end up rubbing off the dust, to fix the broken pieces.

Relationships are  mathematical expressions where we get to denote both emotional and physical values of our lovers or partners.

 Everyone is free to get into a relationship. After all, some people are irresistible. So beautiful to tell, and their magnetic touch cant stop drawing us closer to their godliness. There is a ton of pressure around us, which pulls us in that relationship cycle.

It just feels good to be in a relationship.  To have someone by your side sounds great to me.
My point is not being in the relationship. Its not the beginning or throughout the relationship.        Its at the end. Its where people tend to part ways.

It is the part that is contrary to “happily ever after.” Break up.

The breakup is always painful, disappointing, full of regrets, with tears and plenty of curse words.

That is where we realise  that we gave in too much and still it wasn’t enough. We realise that no one is to be trusted. Im not going to talk about that anyway.                             I’m not here to squander you or criticize. I’m here to help you stand firm and move on.

Your partner in the relationship is supposed to love you, keep you there, and persuade you to believe that  he or she is the right one. And this is not only through words, but rather actions and emotional support.

Things turn out lame sometimes. This is life, shit happens. Some people cant help themselves from temptations and challenges.             They just get carried away through the waves leaving you empty and dark. They take a piece of you that once trusted, cared and loved.

So when you choose to leave them, don’t go back. Don’t swallow your pride and pretend they are only human or its the devil’s fault.           Its true we are only human, and we are all bound to imperfections and some weakness. But that shouldn’t be the reason for you to go back to your past and try to heal your wounds there.

Its funny how people after breakups they go back to their lovers. Are you trying to become the prodigal son or the prodigal daughter? Come on, there is always a limit for Christ sake. When you say its over, its over. Its not the quarrel or  hatred. Its the relationship, its the connection that put you together. Its the life that you shared that its over.

You gotta go. When they come after you, sing back, “we are never getting back together.” Show them your claws. Let them see that you learnt something from them. And just like that, you are over him or her and you are able to make your own way. Let them know you can rise immediately after a fall.Be phoenix. Rise from the ashes.

We are supposed to learn from challenges and mistakes. Not to grieve in them, regret or blame ourselves for not being careful and patient.

Don’t dwell in the past. Especially the past that took you for granted and wasted your precious love. You deserve more not less. You deserve happiness and not pain.

Be free to make own way and heal the broken fractures by yourself.     Let them know that they are not your “ex” for etcetera, but “x” for cancelled.  Its not the end, its just the beginning.  You are just realizing  that some people are not worthy to have you because you are way too precious.

Its simple, forgive and forget.

Humans are made to feel

If it is to communicate about our fate,, we all have a story to tell. I have a story to tell.

And i will try to do it so well.

In life there is the don’ts, do’s and the dears. There are good moments and bad moments. The fears and tears.

But we are told to embrace that. “Embrace life, it has much to give.”

Many of us think about being alone a lot. No commitments, no expectations and no relationships. Well, we don’t only think, but we also execute the thoughts into actions and eventually becomes our style.

Isolation is rather our habit. We tend to smile to ourselves and laugh at our own jokes. Talk of “masturdating” ; taking ourselves out on a date and treating ourselves alone.

Kind of silly, right?? 

People are different and life tends to hit differently, and we choose not to depend on someone emotionally. 

There is no specific motive that fuels us. Only the urge to feel independent of our own emotions without any other source affecting our “tides and waves” of reasoning. 

We  choose to be single.

To be free.

Unfortunately we are wrong about something.

Humans are made to seek others. We are made to feel love, hate and other things that tend to trigger us emotionally. 

That is the reason why we have spaces in our fingers. Its for someone else to fill them.

Even though we have the will to say no, still we are bound to that fate (to feel). 

But the road of isolation only leads to zones of sleepless nights and self criticizing which makes us  pale. Talk of the temptations and the green eyed monster. Can you withstand two people or more smiling, laughing, holding and embracing each other? 

As for me i cant. I will find it helpless deep down my nerves and tissues. 

All those alone times is like hell. It eats away the molecules that makes you human,  and leaves you experiencing a life that one has to fight in order to resist natural orders of life.

Being alone isn’t being free. Its being in  chains. And the longer you get chained, the harder it becomes to free yourself.

What is the point of loosing the humanity in you and living a life that is not worth it?

We aways think we are doing the  right thing. We say we are  living our life, because we are at the steering wheel deciding its course.

No. Thats isn’t the right  way to live.

 We all need each other. We need someone by our side.

 When we are angry we need someone to vent to, when we are sad, we need someone to tell us its going to be alright. When we are happy we need to share that with someone. To us friends and lovers are a necessity.

Though each one of us has a different fate and destiny, we are still connected.

And this means that being alone isn’t being free. Its being afraid and weak.

Even though you try to isolate yourself from others, you will still experience heart breaks and disappointments.

We all have to face our demons. 

Not hiding from them.

Take it slow,,, step by step

 

There are those mornings that you  just wake up feeling bored. A little bit tired and kind of heavy.

Well, i experienced an uncomfortable feeling this morning. I couldn’t even  get up to the window and witness the sun rising upon my great city or tuning to the radio stations for morning talks ( and that would be Maina in Classic fm).

This morning was rather different. I just kept lying on the bed staring to the darkness in my eyes.

In that moment i remembered  a poem i read last night.

It was Kelli Ducharme’s, My Dragon. In this poem, Kelli talks about him being a flame inside a dragon. He yearns to set himself free, “i wait to come out, burning inside him.”

The dragon denies him the chance, but he still hopes to win over the dragon.

“Im flying out now, out of my dragon and to nowhere,” the poem continues.

The fire is set free, at last he was out of the dragon. Something happened and he wished to go back. “Wait take me back, im fading out and flickering, im getting cold, im becoming nothing.”

It hit me suddenly. People always wish to be free, yet some don’t know from what. It might be protection, peace or maybe love that you want to be free from.

You always don’t know what you have until you loose it.

Passengers’ song “let her go” clearly says that, you only know your lover when you let her go.

Only when the fire was out, did it know that it was safer inside.

 

Its true hurry hurry has no blessings. Just like Jaguar said, ” take it slow.”  Don’t rush things and then regret at the end. ” I wish i knew,” isn’t that how people sound like after screwing up?

Most of us when prompted into action (both physically and emotionally), we execute our desires and ideas quickly. We leap, we hop and try to fly away not sure what awaits us.

The fire couldn’t withstand the air outside. It got much worse and it definitely died out.

This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try new things. Go ahead! Hell yeah!

But with patience and care.

We all have visions and we fight to fulfil them.

But a vision without a mission is treason.

Now i know why i felt heavy.

We always rush things without weighing the consequences, the benefits and the failure.

Before you venture into a business, you need to find an appropriate opportunity and demand. Then see if you can make a colorful reward. That is business.

Just like in life, you get to see what the future has installed for you, and analyze if its right for you.

Just like solving a mathematical problem in an exam. You first state the formula, and execute it step by step towards the final answer.

After all, we are here for a moment. That means we have to make every step count and live life that’s worth it. So take slow with care.

Behold, we know not of the future.

 

 

 

My first time,,,

The first time is always challenging. It feels strange and just new.

Its like you dont fit there. I always hate the first time to everything. You just become afraid of making mistakes and that makes you feel out of place when poeple start commenting,”and who is this guy?”   “Where is he from?”

But they say when you get to Rome, you have to do what the Romans do.

I really cant fully explain why i came up with the name, “there is plenty in the eyes.” To be honest, it just sounds cool. Wait, what did the English teachers say about verbs? Doing words that can stand on their own. Yes! Doesnt “there is plenty in the eyes” stand on its own?

Of course it does. Well if i were to justify myself, then i wouldnt hesitate to use doubting Thomas as the perfect example. Thomas couldnt believe that Jesus had risen. Words couldnt work the magic, he had to see for himself, and which later, he had to touch Jesus’s holes.

Just like beauty lies on the eyes of the beholder, im on the other side of the river. And in this case, im the giver, not the reciever.

The eyes have to see for the heart to like or dislike, and the mouth to salivate.

The eyes have to see for the mind to choose,both the hands and the legs to touch and move.

There is just plenty in the eyes for us to see and believe. It only takes one plus one to equal two.

Open your eyes wide.

You will see.